Funny Quotes on Family

Posted by Vebra on August 18, 2013

By the time a man realizes that maybe his father was right, he usually has a son who thinks he's wrong.
- Charles Wadsworth

Having a baby changes the way you view your in-laws. I love it when they come to visit now. They can hold the baby and I can go out.
- Matthew Broderick

Humans are not proud of their ancestors, and rarely invite them round to dinner.
- Douglas Adams

I grew up in a very large family in a very small house. I never slept alone until after I was married.
- Lewis Grizzard

I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance-waiting for the bathroom.
- Bob Hope

I have the heart of a child. I keep it in a jar on my shelf.
- Robert Bloch

A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold.
- Ogden Nash

Seven days without laughter makes one weak.
- Mort Walker

Misery is when you make your bed and then your mother tells you it's the day she's changing the sheets.
- Suzanne Heller

Adam was the luckiest man in the world. He had no mother-in-law.
- n/a

The greatest thing in family life is to take a hint when a hint is intended-and not to take a hint when a hint is not intended.
- Robert Frost

My parents didn't want to move to Florida, but they turned sixty and that's the law.
- Jerry Seinfeld

To be a successful father there's one absolute rule: when you have a kid, don't look at it for the first two years.
- Ernest Hemingway

The reason grandparents and grandchildren get along so well is that they have a common enemy.
- Sam Levenson

Childhood is that wonderful time when all you need to do to lose weight is take a bath.
- Joe Moore

More boys would follow in their father's footsteps if they weren't afraid of being caught.
- n/a

I phoned my dad to tell him I had stopped smoking. He called me a quitter.
- Steven Pearl

She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.
- Groucho Marx

Give me the children until they are seven and anyone may have them afterward.
- Saint Francis Xavier

A man who lives everywhere lives nowhere.
- Marcus Valerius Martialis

Only cat lovers know the luxury of fur-coated musical hot water bottles that never go cold.
- Susanne Millen

You've got to do your own growing, no matter how tall your grandfather was.
- Irish Proverb -

The easiest way for your children to learn about money is for you not to have any.
- Katharine Whitehorn

My wife is a light eater - as soon as it's light, she starts to eat.
- Henny Youngman

InspirationalQuotes.Asia Updated: August 18, 2013